Once Upon A Fairy Tale
by Forever Yours Zana
Summary: Ed's Cinderella. Envy is his Prince Charming and Lust is the fairy godmother. Will Roy let him make it to the ball? What other chaos ensures? [Now a oneshot only]


A/N: Hey ya'll, it's Zana again! Welcome to my slightly crack-ish, lemon-ish, one shot of my favorite FMA couple Envy and Edo! The inspiration came to me as I talked with my good buddy Lolita Strawberry, and so I had to type it down because it's been bugging me all day! Plus, I needed to practice my lemon writing skills, and so here I am! (Laughs sheepishly)

Envy: Do me a favor and shut up...ok?

Zana: Why don't YOU do ME a favor and say the annoying disclaimer…

Envy…No…

Al: I'll do it, Zana doesn't… (Envy tackles)

Envy: Zana doesn't own FMA or Cinderella, but she DOES own FMA bed sheets…and that's it…nothing else…

Zana: (Blushes) Shuddup! (Throws a frying pan)

Ed: (Looks at unconscious Envy) …And that spells…FUN! (Pounces)

Zana: Let the one-shot commence!

**Warnings**: Cross-dressing, Edo torture, yaoi, adult content, cursing, OOC-ness, AU, some bashing, crack, angst, all the usual fun stuff…

XXX

"_She will be more of a princess than she ever was- a hundred and fifty thousand times more." _

A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

XXX

_**Once Upon A Fairy Tale **_

_**XXX**_

A long, long time ago, there lived a couple. They were very much in love and decided to get married. Their names were Lady Trisha Elric and Sir Hohenheim of Light. Together, they gave birth to their first and only son, whom they named Edward Elric of Light. The small family lived happy together in the kingdom of Resembool, ruled by Queen Dante until one day, Lady Trisha died of an unknown illness. Edward was only at the tender age of three.

Sir Hohenheim of Light was stricken with grief for years, until one fateful night, he left, leaving young Edward all alone. He did leave a note of instructions for young Edward to be left in the care of Hohenheim's sister, Elizabeth Mustang. So at the age of seven, Edward moved in with the trigger-happy woman and her pyromaniac, government alchemist of a husband, Roy Mustang. They had two daughters named Winry and Rose. From that point on, Edward's life was a living hell.

"Liza," and Winry constantly bossed him around, beating him mercilessly if he did not comply with their ridiculous whims. Roy had forced Edward to bear women's clothing at all times. Rose was the only member of their twisted family that showed him any kindness. She snuck food out for him when Liza refused to feed him. She allowed Edward to sleep in her warm, comfortable room when Roy wanted Edward to sleep in the crappy doghouse in the backyard. Even though Rose would get caught once in awhile, she still did it anyway because her cousin was also her friend. Edward was grateful for Rose because without her kindness, he would have gone insane.

A few years later, Edward was now sixteen. On this day, he wore his grown-out hair in a simple braid with a tattered, dull grey dress that was too big on him. His once vibrant golden eyes were currently dimmed due to years of cruelty. He was mopping the manor and then paused, slumping down to the ground. His automail was hurting him again. Edward received the metal limbs after one day when he pissed Liza so much; she shot him in both his arm and leg. The doctors amputated the limbs and gave him these cursed metal ones. He hated to go out in public because others would gasp and stare and pity. He hated their gasps, stares, and pity.

A small grey mouse came out of his hole and skittered across the wooden floor. It stared curiously at Edward with its dark beady eyes, as if to ask, "Are you going to be alright?"

Edward smiled faintly at the mouse who he named Al, "…I don't know Al…sometimes I wish I could just…_sleep_. For a long time…" His voice held years of maturity that someone of his age did not typically possess. The mouse twitched its nose and crawled up on Edward, lying on his lap. Edward used one metal finger to gently stroke the animal's furry head.

The boy's peace was disturbed when a door slammed shut. Winry's voice squealed high with unbridled excitement. "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, I'm going to be **RICH!** And I won't have to get a **JOB!"** The family entered the room that he was just mopping. Roy glared at Edward, "What are you doing on the floor _half-metal?_ Did you even finish all your chores?" The blonde awkwardly stood, ignoring the bolt of pain present in his steel leg. "…Yes _sir…"_ Winry then glared over at Ed, "Then why are you still here? Get to your room _loser…"_

_Gladly, bitches_, the blonde thought as he excused himself. Winry continued to yell happily while talking things over with Liza. Rose sighed to herself, watching Edward disappear into the shadows.

XXX

Prince Envy of Resembool was not pleased. And when Prince Envy was not pleased, there was hell to pay.

The young, emerald-haired prince barged into his mother's chambers, "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS SHIT THAT WRATH JUST TOLD ME ABOUT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO HAVE A FUCKING BALL YOU UGLY _BITCH!"_

The queen answered calmly while studying her nails, "…Since you claim that you dislike women, and due to the fact that you're approaching your eighteenth birthday which is when you must be wedded, I've decided to throw a grand ball and invite all of the loveliest women of Resembool to attend. It is there you are to pick one to be your future wife…"

Envy threw his hands up in the air, "DO YOU _LISTEN_ TO YOURSELF? I **DO NOT** LIKE GIRLS, I LIKE **DICKS,** YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO MARRY SOME RANDOM WHORE AFTER MY MONEY AND STATUS!" Queen Dante sighed, "I already sent out the invitations, there's nothing you can do about it Envy…just pick the girl you think looks the best that night or _I'll _pick one for you…"

"YOU GODAMNED HAG! I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY ANY…FUCKING…GIRL!" The queen watched as he son had one of his famous temper tantrums, throwing any nearby object across the room and punching rather large holes into the nearest walls.

Envy's younger brother, Prince Wrath, entered the room while dodging a lamp, "Just grow up Envy…I'm only twelve and I'm _way _more mature than you are…"

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say, since young Wrath found himself getting hit the face with a stool.

XXX

When the skies grew dark with night, Rose secretly visited Edward in his lonely room, also known as the closet. It was there that she gave him a meal consisting of a loaf of bread and some steak. She also brought up milk.

Edward devoured all of the food except for the milk.

Rose sighed, "…Edward…"

The shorter of the two crossed his arms, "…You can't make me drink that…that…**cow piss**…who in the hell even came up with the idea of drinking **COW** piss? So what Her Royal Bitchiness yelling about?"

Rose informed Edward of how she and Winry both received invitations to the Prince's ball. To this, Edward rolled his eyes, "…I really hope he doesn't marry HER…in fact, I really hope he marries you…" The pink-banged girl blushed slightly, "…I doubt it…in fact I heard that the Prince prefers males…" The both of them started to snicker quietly, and then Rose heard someone call her name. "Goodnight Edward…I'll see you tomorrow…"

When the girl left the room, the blonde blew off his candle and snuggled as best as he could within the itchy, dirtty, smelly, wool bed sheets.

_I wonder if...I'll fall in love with someone…no…that's impossible…_

He used his human fingers to feel the coolness of his automail ones.

_No one could ever love a monster like me…I'll just die abandoned and alone…_

Long eyelashes closed with rest.

XXX

A week later, Edward woke up to a familiar, exasperating voice. "Come on you lazy bum, get up, we're going shopping and we need someone to hold the damn bags!" Edward refused to move until a foot kicked him on the side. He awoke to blazing blue eyes followed by onyx dark eyes. Roy held some type of garment in his hand. He tossed it callously at Ed. "Make sure you wear it, we don't want anyone mixing you up with a master-less _whore…"_ Winry giggled at her father's remark before skipping out of the room.

Roy grabbed Edward's chin and pulled it up to his face, "I think you look cute with a bow in your hair as well…what do you think?"

"I think you're a fucking _sick _pedophile you bastard!" Roy let go of Ed's face before delivering a flesh-sounding slap. "Don't talk back…it's rude." Then the dark-haired man placed a harsh kiss upon the younger one's lips before leaving him alone.

Ed spat, remembering the few times when the bastard would practically molest him. Roy Mustang would get his just desserts one day…

Today Edward was allowed to take a shower, since he had to go out. Edward did not go out often. In the cool water, he rinsed his hair of soap once again. He slowly started to rinse the white suds of, and in the process ran a metal digit over a tender nipple. The reaction was electric and instant. He did it again, except with the other nipple. This time he let out a soft, shaky sigh. He quickly placed the same metal fingers in his mouth, sucking at the tips lightly before slowly running the hand down his water-slicked chest. He was still a human being and he was still a teenager with raging hormones after all…

It was getting lower and lower, and he was so close…

"**EDWARD GET THE HELL OUT OF THE SHOWER NOW!"**

The blonde cursed at himself mentally, all the while blushing and pumping. Finally, he came within the tub, washed it off and exited. _I'm so disgusting, _he scolded at himself, but he wouldn't deny that it also felt…_nice. _Damn Winry and her constant yelling.

XXX

"Aw, Edward looks so pretty," Roy mocked as the short teen appeared in an all white, lacy gown with a matching white ribbon within his flaxen hair. He wore white gloves to hide the last traces of his automail. Edward scowled, "…I hate it…" Roy shrugged, "Well that's too bad my boy…" Rose cleared her throat to speak up, "…Father…isn't that a little…" Roy silenced her with once glance. "Let's go girls…and Edward if I see one speck of dirt on that dress, you're _dead…"_ Liza added.

_Damnit! The roads are dusty…I have to be careful…stupid bitch plotting against me…stupid world plotting against me…_

XXX

Prince Wrath watched as his brother changed out of his princely clothes into something more...obscene. Something a common whore would wear. "…Take me with you!" he whined. Envy rolled his eyes, "No you dumbass…I need you to cover for me while I'm gone…if I stay here too long, I may have to kill our mother…"

Wrath pouted, "Why are you so mean to me?" The green-haired royalty sighed, "Because you whine and you're just a general pain the ass. I'll be back later and if I hear that you snitched…you're not going to be a very happy kid, _got it?" _

Wrath murmured something that was related to a, "Yes." Envy took the thick rope that he held and tossed it out the window while tying the other part to a nearby door knob. Envy blew Wrath a kiss and gave a little wink. Once he checked that the rope was sturdy, the green-haired teen made his escape.

XXX

Yup, Edo was pretty sure that he was in hell.

In between Winry's _godamned_ squealing and Roy's pervy comments, the latest being, _"I ought to rent you out, the other men would like you," _added to Edward's suffering in the heat of summer.

As Edward carried four bags, (it would have been more if Rose had not offered to carry a few), he stopped walking and took a deep breath. The automail pain was returning. _Ouch…I have to suck it up…I have to keep walking…but fuck it hurts... _

Gathering the stamina to move on, the blonde noticed that he had lost his 'family.'

And the first thought that came to mind was, _Oh…**fuck**…no…_

He looked and looked around, but to no avail. It was an endless flood of human bodies, all focused on their own lives and destinations. And he felt so out of place and not to mention, stupid, wearing a dress and holding shopping bags. He started to look around for a head of brown and pink or even a head of charcoal, but instead, Edward saw something else.

More like _someone_ else…

An older man with long, dark golden hair and square-ish glasses. He talked with another person. But all Edward could think about were questions.

_Why did you leave me? Where in the hell were you all these years! But most importantly…WHY did you LEAVE me? _

_Do you even care…about me…?_

"HOHENHEIM, YOU BASTARD, GET OVER HERE!" Edward abandoned his shopping bags in order to pursue his long-lost father. The man in question spotted Edward and he too started to run. Ed shoved and made his way through the crowd, fuming with rage. "YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM **EDDY!"** he bellowed wildly, sounding almost like a murderer.

In his chase, the blonde did not see the palm-tree with large sunglasses.

A rather tall, older man ran past Prince Envy, but made no contact with the sin. However, another person, a crazy yelling girl, made total physical contact with Envy as she fell _on top_ of him. With the short girl on top of him, Envy felt that this one was indeed not a 'she.' "Grrrr, damnit to hell, I lost him! That bastard…"

Envy made a face. "…Excuse me babe, I know I'm addictive as cocaine, but you need to get off me now, 'kay?" Ed blushed as he started to rapidly apologize, "I'm sorry sir, I wasn't watching where I was going…_oi…" _

The stranger wore an outfit that consisted of something that looked like a mini-skirt and a sports bra. His left eye slightly twitched. Envy studied the specimen before him. A cross-dresser with blonde hair, golden eyes, feisty temper…and undeniably short.

He had never seen anyone more magnificent.

Envy leaned closer to the chibi, until their very noses touched. "…I think you're cute. So take this…" He handed the chibi a white envelope then stood up, wiping the dust off him. Edward looked at the envelope, "What's in here?" Envy shrugged, "Oh you know…this and that…just be there babe and I'll save a _special_ show just for you…let's just say it'll be…_enthralling…"_ The stranger's voice had a breathless, husky tone that caused Ed to blush some more. Then the blonde regained his senses.

"…Are you trying to flirt with me? I'm not going to have sex with some random person; I'm not a whore you know…"

"Whatever you say o'chibi-san…later!" The stranger ran off and disappeared as Edward yelled, "I'M NOT SHORT YA FREAKING PALM TREE!"

Fingers tapped at his shoulders.

"Edward…who are you talking to?"

"**ED, WHERE ARE THE OTHER SHOPPING BAGS!" **

Oh happy day.

XXX

Licking a strawberry ice cream cone, Envy snickered to himself. He couldn't wait to see o'chibi-san at the ball all dolled up. He did not know why, but he was immensely attracted to the cross-dresser and itched to see him again.

Thank goodness the ball was only three days away.

XXX

Holed up in his closet, Ed told Al, (the mouse), all about his confusing ass day. The small animal listened attentively while nibbling on some cheese it found.

"…I can't believe it…that crazy guy that was hitting on me was actually the prince! And he gave me an invite to the ball…he wants to see me again…" Edward was not use to the feel of being wanted. It felt great. The beatings that he received from Roy and his equally psycho daughter Winry did not even hurt as much now.

Edward held the envelope close to his chest, "...But Al…how will I get there? I don't even have anything nice to wear there…it's hopeless. I bet the prince already forgot about me…and I can't believe that Hohenheim ran away from me…I guess I'm just that horrible of a person, ne?"

Al squeaked sadly. "No you're not," it almost said. Ed rubbed its head, "Oh Al, I wish you really could talk back to me…Rose hasn't visited me yet which means Roy is probably stopping her…looks like its just you, my empty stomach, and the moon tonight pal…"

He carefully hid the envelope inside of his pillowcase and soon fell asleep with Al right beside him.

XXX

Three days passed by and the night of the ball arrived. Females who were invited everywhere prepared and went through all sorts of procedures to make themselves look 'beautiful,' when in fact, they only made themselves look worse off. Winry had made sure to paint her lips and dash blush on her cheeks, eye shadow, mascara, and the whole nine yards. The result was a girl dressed in something from a Barbie princess movie. Rose had used no makeup and kept herself looking as simple as possible. The yellow dress she wore was very lovely. (A/N: Dudes, imagine Episode 50, okay?)

Roy wore his military uniform and Liza wore an outfit that would make her appear to be a strict school teacher. However, her hair was worn down for once.

"We expect to find this house in perfect condition with you locked up in your room when we return, got it?" Liza snapped, adding on the whole 'strict teacher,' thing. Edward nodded, "Yes…" Rose could only offer a small smile as the Mustangs went out the door. It slammed shut in the teen's face. Edward sighed.

Al came out of a hole and squeaked for recognition. The blonde responded, "Looks like it's gonna rain tonight…" Al squeaked in questioning. The sky couldn't be clearer outside.

A drop of liquid hit the mahogany wooden floor before Edward ran upstairs.

XXX

Prince Envy hummed quietly to himself as he studied his reflection in the mirror. This suit was hand made with the finest material in the entire world. His trademark headband was in place and his long, green-tined locks were slightly tamed. _Yup, I'd definitely give myself a 1,000/10. I look damn sexy! _The prince thought to himself with a smug smirk. He really should have been named Pride, not Envy…

"…Envy, Envy, Envy, ENVY! Guess what!" the ever-annoying, (A/N: But Cute…), Wrath called, making himself present in the room. Envy groaned, "What is it now…?" The younger boy grinned, "Some of those girls are really pretty, you can't possibly say they're not to your liking…"

Envy sighed, "I'm still uninterested, but you can try and get one to sleep with you…that would be funny …besides, there's only one person I'm looking forward to tonight…"

O'chibi-san's face came to mind and he adjusted his tie. The chibi had better be here, he was looking damn sexy after all!

XXX

Al watched as Edward sniffed and wiped some tears away. With face was red with misery. The envelope to the ball was all soggy. "…I'm such a fucking crybaby…aren't I…? Nothing will ever go right in my life…"

A distinct clash of objects was heard. Edward paused and listened. A voice, a female voice, started to curse loudly. _Who in the hell can that be? Oh no…it must be a thief! _Edward couldn't care less if someone stole from the Mustangs, but Rose lived here and if anything did get stolen, he would be blamed, (and probably shot at), for it. So Ed went downstairs to investigate, with a small knife in hand.

It was indeed a woman, one wearing a dress of midnight black with equally dark hair. She was currently on the floor, trying to pull her foot out of a bucket. "Damn it, why isn't this stupid piece of shit coming off…!" This was Edward's chance to attack.

"Hey…hold it right there, who are you lady and what in the hell do you want!" He held the blade out in front of him, but the woman seemed to be unfazed by the threat.

"Hey kid, put that down and help me get this bucket off…I'm not a thief or a murderer…." Ed still did not budge, "I'm not a KID, I'm sixteen! And why should I trust you, crazy lady!" The woman sighed as she pulled something from out of her large bust. A couple of hundred dollar bills came out and she handed Edward a card. It read: _Miss Lust, Queen of Blowjobs._ Edward yelled and dropped the card. Lust snatched it up and took out another card. This one read: _Miss Lust, Fairy Godmother Extraordinaire. _

Edward looked up, "What in the fuck are you, a prostitute or a fairy godmother!" Lust glared, "Fairy godmother! Now get this damn bucket off of me before I change my mind about helping you get to this ball!" At the word 'ball,' Ed rushed over and in a matter of minutes had the bucket off the woman's foot to reveal sexy black leather shoes. This woman was _so _a prostitute. She even had the sexy voice thing down.

Lust stood up and pulled out a black wand from her cleavage, "Now, let's get somewhere less _hazardous…"_ With a wave of her wand, the two were outside and Edward gasped. "How…wait…no way…magic doesn't exist, it goes against he laws of science…!" Lust rolled her eyes, "Oh _shut it_ dork, this is a fairy tale, get use to it! Now, we need some transportation…bippity boppity boo!"

She turned a pumpkin into a white Hummer limousine, complete with a thirty-two inch screen plasma TV with twenty-six inch rims. (A/N: Let the crack begin! Seriously…) "That's amazing…" Ed stated. Lust nodded, "That's why it's called _magic_ kid. And that dress is so _not_ stylish…bippity boppity boo!"

Edward now wore a dress of baby-blue and white. It shone and sparkled in the dim moonlight. His hair was done in soft curls and a diamond tiara was embedded into his head. He really did look like a flat-chested, short girl!

Ah, but there was still something wrong!

"My automail…they'll know it's me if they see my automail…" Lust waved her wand, "Bip-oh screw that shit…" Metal limbs were turned into flesh. Edward was at a lost for words. Lust tapped her wand against her chin lightly, "Oh yeah, we can't forget your shoes darling…_sha-zam!"_ Comfortable glass slippers found themselves on his petite feet. Lust pushed the blonde into the limo, "Now get your ass there and have fun! Oh yeah, at twelve the magic wears off, so you'd better be outta there by then, okay?"

Ed glared, "I still need a driver bitch…" Lust glared back. She saw Al, (the mouse), and turned him into a human. Into the Alphonse that we all know and love dearly. "AL!" Ed cried out happily. "ED! I can finally TALK to you! I have so much to say!" the dirty blonde boy shouted back. Lust nodded, "Yeah, yeah, save it all for the car ride...my job is done _buh-bye!"_

Why was Lust in such a rush? She had to get to her _other _job of course!

XXX

Envy grew weary, girl after girl. They were all so annoying and were trying horribly to seduce him. One even tried to give him a handjob right then and there, can anyone say 'ew?' Now he danced with another blonde, adorned in a dress that Barbie would wear. She giggled insanely as they swayed. "…Oh you should pick me you know. All the other girls are fat…really fat, I wear a size double zero! I exercise and wash my hair every day! And I make sure to throw up a lot at night before I go to bed, hah!" Envy twitched. _Ohhhkayyy, this one needs serious help too…get her away from me! _

Outside the doors, the answer to his prayers was in a jam.

You see, the invitation to the ball was needed to get in.

And he kinda forgot it.

The guards were a severe-looking woman with dreadlocks for a hairstyle and a hefty, burly-looking man.

"Please let me in…" Ed whined. The guard-lady grunted, "No invite, no entrance, those are the rules."

Edward stared into the night sky, "FAIRY GODMOTHER, I NEED HELP! Like, RIGHT NOW!" In a poof of white smoke, Lust appeared, holding the key to seeing Envy in her hand. Ed snatched it and gave it to the dreadlocked woman, "_See?_ Can you please let me in now?" The large man opened the door and Edward ran in with anticipation.

Afterwards, Izumi looked at Lust and Lust looked at Izumi.

"…So…was that a boy?"

"…Yes. Yes it was…"

XXX

(Imagine these next few moments being played out in slow-motion, okay?)

Edward runs in, hair and dress flaying all about. Envy spots his o'chibi-san and shoves Winry to the ground. Edward runs down the spiral staircase, ignoring the gasps and wonder of the other guests. His 'family,' does not recognize him. Envy dashes toward Edward and the two meet up with each other in an embracing hug.

Edward looks up at Envy, golden eyes sparkling in feminine OOC-ness, cheeks naturally rosy red and lips pink, "I…I made it…" His voice was out of breath. Envy smirked, "Wonderful…"

(End of Slow Motion Sequence)

Edward allowed himself to be lead to the center of the grand, marble white dance floor. The chandelier made of diamond shone brightly on the two. Soft orchestral music, violins and piano undertones started to play. The moment seemed so surreal to Edward, he felt light-headed with happiness because for some reason, seeing this handsome prince made him _happy._ He had not been truly happy in a long time…

They barely knew each other and yet, he felt as if they were old friends.

Envy placed one hand around o'chibi-san's feminine hip and used the other to hold the chibi's left hand. The hand that _use_ to be made of steel. The two started to whirl around the pristine floor, acting as if no one else in the world existed because that was how it _felt _like.

While dancing, Edward piped up, "…Do…do I look nice to you milord?" Envy pressed his forehead on the chibi's, "I don't think you look nice or even _beautiful_…I think you're fucking gorgeous…and call me Envy." The flaxed-haired youth was once again rendered speechless. No one had ever, ever, ever said that to him before. It made him feel like crying. Which he did.

Envy panicked, "Uh, are you alright? Are you afraid of curse words or something o'chibi-san?" Edward shook his head. His tears made him unable to speak, so Envy decided to take him somewhere else. He gave the signal for Maes Hughes, one of the royal guards, to distract everyone as he and Edward made an escape.

In the crowd of spectators, a certain old man with long blonde hair and square glasses that shone in the light smiled to himself, as if thinking of a private joke. The man turned around and slowly walked away.

_Edward…my son…damn you have a nice ass…_

XXX

The royal garden was truly a sight to see during the night. Plants and flowers of all kinds grew and blended with each other to create a type of colorful harmony. Fountains poured with crystal clear cool liquid. Envy lead the chibi to a nearby bench to sit. The chibi hiccupped, "…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…it's just…I've…never been treated…so kindly…"

Envy used his thumb to wipe away the tears, "Hey, hey, don't cry chibi…you should be smiling, it suits you much better…" The chibi looked up, "My name is Edward you know…stop calling me short…" The prince tested the name on his lips, "Edward…love the name…but I prefer o'chibi-san, if you don't mind." Ed pouted, "I _do _mind…Envy…hey, what are you doing?"

The green-haired sin was leering toward Edward's face again. His voice was low and smooth, "I know we haven't known each other for very long, but do you mind if I…kiss you?"

"…Uh…"

Without another warning, the sin dove in and pressed his lips against the blonde's. A soft tongue probed gently for entrance and Ed granted it. Edward never imagined that anyone else would ever kiss him…_touch_ him in this way. He felt hot despite the cool weather. Envy's tongue was warm and expertly searched the insides of the hot cavern that was Ed's mouth. The blonde grabbed Envy's shoulders, pressing him closer to eliminate distance. There was s strong need for contact, for friction and more heat.

Envy was using a hand to unzip Edward's dress from the back. It slowly went down his shoulders exposing tanned skin. Envy started brushing his lips on Edward's jaw line, then down his neck. He moved to the shoulder's kissing, biting, and licking. Edward let out a small moan. His breathing was erratic.

_Oh God, this feels so fucking good…I want more…more, more! Hot, so hot…_

_What time is it anyway? _

_Who…cares? _

"What time is it…?" The blonde managed to gasp out. Envy stopped his ministrations. _Good job Ed! Another thing to add on the non-sexy words to say when making out with someone list! _

"…I think it's almost twelve…why do you ask?" Golden eyes bugged out, "What! Oh no…I have to go! Can you uh…help me zip this dress?" Envy did as he was asked, "But why do you have to go now? We were just getting to know each other…"

Ed adjusted his tiara and licked his swollen lips, "It's kinda hard to explain...you just have to trust me…I have to go now…" The boy stood up and started to make his getaway in glass slippers.

"Edward, wait! Will…will I ever see you again!"

"…I hope so!" His voice called back. He stumbled, losing a glass shoe in the process, but continued to run. Envy sighed. _Just when I find someone I truly like…he runs away…typical. _

XXX

Al glanced at the review mirror. Edward had a dreamy smile on his face as he closed the car door. "So how was it?" he asked jovially.

Ed sank in his seat and let out a long sigh, He touched his lips lightly, "Oh _Al_…it was…_magical…" _

XXX

Winry was in tears on the car ride home.

"He pushed me away for some short, boob-less bimbo! I think he actually liked her! It's not fair!" Liza patted her shoulder, "Don't cry…I'm sure that he was just…_amusing_ that girl…"

Winry dabbed at her eyes with her oink handkerchief, "Her dress wasn't even that pretty…baby blue is so out! And that tiara was so cheap and hideous, just like her _face!"_

Rose rolled her eyes. _Oh brother…shut up already bitch! _

XXX

XXX

XXX

A few days later, the kingdom of Resembool lulled down into its usual peace. May young girls still awaited the news of which girl the prince had chosen to marry. Roy had noticed that Edward had been unusually cheerful as well. He was convinced the boy had something, but what? The man had yet to find out.

While washing the plates and humming, Edward heard Winry run into the house with news. "Father, Father, EDWARD was THAT GIRL at the ball!"

Ed dropped the dish he held. _Oh my…how did she find out! _

How did the ditzy girl find out? Why, there was an announcement that the prince was searching for someone named Edward that could fit into a certain glass shoe. Whoever matched the description, he would marry.

Now the family stood in front of Edward, with questions that he would not answer.

_How did you get an invitation?_

_Since when were you gay? _

_How did you get there? Who helped you? _

_Where did you get that dress from? _

The boy kept silent, refusing to answer. Then Roy snapped his fingers together, "If the prince is checking every house for Edward…then when he comes here, all we have to do is hide Edward and convince him to marry Winry instead!" Liza clapped her hands at the plan, "Perfect!" They often ignored Rose, the younger of the two girls. Winry was the 'prefect' daughter and she was trapped in her shadow. Well, she was tired of it. She had to speak out.

"I won't let you…you can't keep doing this to Edward," she said, her voice at first soft. "Hasn't he suffered enough already? All of you are insane…" She was instantly punished with a slap, from Winry no less. "Be quiet Rose…this doesn't concern you!"

The shy girl with pink-bangs was in, "I'm going to kick your ass," mode.

This is why she jumped on Winry and started to pull on her hair while slamming her head into the ground.

While the chaos ensured, Edward tried to find a way to escape before Roy could lock him up. Roy noticed this and went after Edward, who was very close to jumping out the window.

But Roy grabbed on his leg and pulled him away harshly, pressing the boy against the wall. "You're not going anywhere half-metal…" Ed cried out, "Let me go you bastard, let me GO!"

But Roy pressed two fingers against the boy's neck and rendered him unconscious.

XXX

The sun was starting to already set in the sky. All day, Envy had been searching, but here was no sign of Edward anywhere. He was starting to get pissed off.

"This is the last house sir," Izumi stated. Envy's spirits lifted, "Then…he has to be here…he just has to be!" He eagerly knocked on the door and a smiling woman with hair packed into a bun opened the door. "Hello, welcome to our home…" On the couch sat Winry with her father.

XXX

"…ward…ake…up…Edward…"

_That voice is familiar…who is it? I have to wake up, don't I? _

"Ed…wad…he's here…the prince is here!"

_Envy…I remember now…Envy…! I have to wake up!_

Edward stirred and then slowly sat up. In the attic sat a relieved Rose beside him. "Roy locked you up her too?" She nodded slowly, "Yes…but that's not important…what's important is that Envy's here…and he won't end up finding you unless we find a way out! I've tried, but no dice…"

Ed looked around. No windows, no weak spots…this was a tough situation to get out of. Then he remembered Al. Quickly, he whistled and the little grey mouse scurried from a hole. Ever since Al had been human for that night, the two had a whole new understanding.

"Al, I need to go and find the key then bring it to me…please hurry, we don't have much time…" The mouse squeaked in understanding and ran off. Rose was skeptical, "You talk to a mouse…?"

"Long story, but Al will come through for us…I'm sorry I got you involved in this Rose…you didn't have to defend me…" The girl shrugged, "It was worth giving Winry that black eye…and you're my family…"

XXX

Al was a mouse with a mission.

Al knew for a fact that the key was hidden in Roy and Liza's bedroom. The mouse was now in the room, but an obstacle was in the one. An obstacle known as, 'Fluffy,' Winry's evil cat. The white menace hissed at Al and went in for the kill. Al hopped on top of the bed and ran as fast as he little legs could take him. The key was on top of that desk…

Fluffy used a nail and struck Al on the side, giving the poor mouse a long, red gash. Despite his problem, the brave mouse fetched the key and ran out, surviving Fluffy, who was pissed off that she didn't get to eat Al.

Downstairs, a rather repetitive conversation was going on. It went like this:

Envy: Does Edward live here? You know, short blonde feisty chibi?

Roy: I've never heard of no such person.

Envy: …But he has to live here-

Liza: You should marry our daughter Winry, she's quite lovely…

Winry: I'm a size double zero!

Envy: …

And it went on and on. Envy was ready to leave. A prince could only take so much stupidity in one day…

XXX

"Al…who did this to you? It was that idiot Fluffy, wasn't it!"

The mouse squeaked weakly. It was dying. But it gave Ed the key. Rose took the mouse from Ed, "I'll try my best to help him…you go down there and stop Envy from leaving!" He nodded and opened the door, just as Envy went out their door.

When he got down there, the prince was out the door. Winry was crying, again. "Envy! Don't leave me here! I'm here!" he cried out as loudly as he could. Liza took out her gun, "You, this is _your_ entire fault! Prepare to lose another limb!" Before Ed could react, she shot the gun.

(Slow Motion Again folks…)

Envy had heard Edward's voice. He broke the door down and ran inside, just in time to see Liza shoot. The bullet hit Ed and the blonde fell. Envy ran over to Ed, **"O' chibi-san!"**

Ed was not moving. His eyes were closed. Envy held Ed in his arms, "Oh Edward…I should have searched this house and now you're dead…guards, arrest those fools!" Rose came down and seeing Edward lying on the floor after she heard the gunshot and she started to scream.

(End slow-mo)

Havoc, one of Envy's guards, noticed something.

"Hey Prince…there's no blood on him…"

Ed opened his eyes and sat up on his own. He ripped the sleeve of the dress he wore to show that the bullet had become trap in the metal plate that connected with his shoulder. Envy blinked in surprise, "…When did you get that?"

The blonde removed the bullet and tossed it across the room, "I've always had it…my fairy godmother used magic to conceal it during the ball…I understand if you don't want anything to do with a freak like me…"

Envy pulled Ed into his grasp, hugging him fully and kissing the top of his head, "I couldn't care less if your entire body was made of steel, I love you…Edward…my Full Metal Angel…at least you're alright…"

Havoc, Hughes, and some of the other government guys started to bawl at the fluffiness. Izumi was disturbed because this was a side to the prince she had never seen. Liza and Roy were handcuffed and Winry sat on the floor, crying more. Rose smiled softly at the scene, but frowned at Al who had taken his very last breath.

At an outside window, Hohenheim of Light stood next to Lust, watching the people inside. Lust studied the old man, "Why don't you go back to your son?" The old man sighed and rubbed his temples, "…No I've ruined his life already. He'll never forgive me, I know. It's better if he thinks of me dead…now that I know he'll be fine, I'll leave and never return to this town…"

Lust crossed her arms, "Are you sure?" The old man nodded, "Very. I know my son will be happy with Prince Envy…please continue to watch over him…and thanks for the lap dance, I needed that." The woman smiled, "Anytime Papa Ho-Ho." The old man left, never to be seen again.

X

X

X

X

Roy and Liza had been arrested and sent to jail. Winry was shacked up with foster parents. Rose was shacked up with Hughes, his wife Gracia and their little daughter whom she loved like a sister.

As for Edward and Envy?

They got married on Envy's birthday. It was a huge celebration around the kingdom. Who cared if they were both male? Edward continued to cross-dress, though not quite as often. So he would be considered the 'Queen.' Al also stayed in the royal manor and became Wrath's playmate and some more, hint, hint. That's right, our favorite mouse had some life left and Lust mad him human and he got better! All's well that ends well, right?

Not quite…

XXX

The night air was humid and still. In the darkness, Envy kissed Edward passionately. A metal limb was wrapped around Envy's middle. It was cold, but the prince did not care. He would take all of Edward, the warm and the cold, the good and the bad. Envy laid Edward down on the bed and admired his thin, yet sculpted body, the taut muscle, the way flesh met with steel in something terribly beautiful. The boy's face was flushed and he looked up on Envy who straddled his waist.

"…Am I doing something wrong…?"

"Nope, just reminding myself of one of the reasons why I fell in love with you…" Then Envy went and made marks on the chibi's neck, showing possession. He licked the love bites and moved down on Edward, kissing the flesh gently. Another hand moved up Edward's dress, pulling down at the female underwear he wore. That alone turned him on in so many ways…_so many ways…_

Ed was panting hard, and Envy removed the rest of the dress with one fling of his arm. He slowly ran his tongue along one of Edward's nipples and the blonde couldn't help but moan. He licked and kissed the hard stub before moving onto the next one. All the while, he tugged Ed's underwear down until it got caught in down on his knees. He wrapped his fingers around the boy's erection and started to use his thumb to rub the precum around the tip. Ed let out a strangled gasp, "Oh God Envy…ohgodohgodohgod…"

"Calm down short one…there are a lot of things I can do that will have you squealing for Doom Day to come…" The sin went back to running his tongue down the muscles of Ed, memorizing all the lines and dips on the boy. Metal fingers buried themselves deep within his dark hair.

Ed was in heaven and in hell. This touching felt so damn pleasurable, and yet he was burning, hence the contradiction. Envy was licking him and touching him and now…_oh_…_that_ was new…

Envy had taken Ed into his mouth and started to suck the boy, bobbing his head up and down at a rapid pace. Ed bucked and cried out in incoherent phrases. His member drowning in the heat was too much. Finally, he felt a familiar tingle as he came inside of the sin's mouth. Envy licked and teased his cock before pulling away. He looked Ed in the eyes, while wiping some of the white liquid from the corner of his mouth.

"Delicious, but now we're gonna play, 'Put my dick up your ass.' It may be…uncomfortable at first, but then I'm sure you'll enjoy it…" Ed nodded, breathing heavily, at a loss for words. Envy stuck his fingers within Ed's mouth and the blonde sucked on them, rubbing a pink, cat-like tongue along the tips. When nice and wet, Envy took the fingers and placed two within Edward who became completely still at the act.

It did feel odd to have two fingers stuck up there…uncomfortable…

Envy pumped the fingers in and out, scissoring them and stretching the tight, pink ring. "Nnnnnghh…Envy...I want you inside of me…"

Envy smirked, "Hmm…? Didn't quite catch that…"

Ed pulled his lover toward him and stole a demanding kiss, "I want you fucking inside of me, I can't take it anymore!" Ed looked scary so Envy removed his fingers and positioned himself, throbbing member waiting in tow. "Are you sure o'chibi-san?" Ed nodded, golden hair splayed around him in a halo, "Yes…please…"

Edward jumped slightly as he felt the head of Envy press against his entrance. Then he calmed down as the older teen went inside of him. Ed wrapped both of his legs around Envy's middle, breathing in and out slowly as he adjusted himself to Envy's length.

First, there were slow, steady, fulfilling strokes. Then as Edward begged for Envy to speed it up, the sin moved at a pace that caused the hilt of him to be buried deep within the boy, whose tightness seemed to be sucking him in. Both of their moans were hungry and lust-filled with wanting. As Envy came inside of Ed, reached the boy's lips and captured them into another deep kiss. Then he collapsed beside Edward.

They spoke no words, but instead, what they felt said everything.

_Did you enjoy that o'chibi-san?_

_It was amazing…_

_Did I hurt you? Are we going to fast?_

_No, the pace is fine…I'm so glad we found each other…_

_I'm glad to. I know I'm going to end up saying this a lot…but…I fucking love you to death Edward Elric…_

_I do too Envy…I do too…_

They shared another kiss, therefore living happily, ever after.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Zana: …So…love it? Hate it? Was the lemon scene ok? It was my very first…was it funny? I tried my best folks…hope you enjoyed. Oh, I don't hate Liza, (Riza), or Roy, I just ended up bashing them a lot…I do not like Winry, (no offense to Winry fans), so I kinda was mean to her.

Roy: One question…I can see Winry being my daughter…but WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU GET ROSE FROM!

Zana: It was needed for the story! I know half of it didn't make sense, it's a fairy tale damn it! At least Ed and Envy end up together!

Ed and Envy: (High five each other) WOOOTTT!

Zana: And Al is turned into a human!

Al and Wrath: WOOOOTTT!

Zana: This is suppose to be a one-shot, but if people really like this, then I'll cook up another one with Snow White. Sounds fun, ne? So, you know what do guys, R & R, if you want more. Seriously, just a little click of that button makes my day! Expect Drive Me Crazy to be updated soon…I have a lotta things, (including Finals, ugh), going on! School's almost out! (Dances)

Ja ne!


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